So India made being gay a no no. Again.

A mere three weeks left in India, and 9 weeks behind me. I've scoured the country pretty much from top to bottom, and my final weeks will be spent in Allepey scouring the backwaters of Kerala on a canoe, seeing the spice capital of India in Kochi and then relaxing on the beach in Goa for Christmas and New Year. India is a large and diverse country, full of good things and people, but has a lot to improve on in any aspects.

In 2009, a 148-year old an anti-homosexual law was overturned and as a result sex between gays was no longer a crime. And last Wednesday that law was overturned again essentially making being gay in India a punishable crime. The Muslim community have strong feelings on the issue, and India is a very conservative country. Gay rights have never existed in this country, and by the looks of it they won't exist for a very long time. Even before this law was overturned this week I did not go around India advertising my sexuality, but told people I felt comfortable around and felt wouldn't judge me for it. But now I don't know what to do. I am completely comfortable with my own sexuality and while I don't go around shouting it out for all the world to hear, I don't want to hide it either. It's a part of who I am, so why should I act as if that part of me doesn't exist. But now I don't know what to do here. If I talk to a local for more than the standard 5 minutes exchanging the usual pleasentries, I don't like to lie. I usually have several conversations with a person before I come out to them out here. And I know that not all of India is close minded and conservative, but I don't want to take the risk of telling someone I'm gay and then them not accepting it simply because it's the law. Usually it would not be a big deal, but I've had a hard 9 weeks in India emotionally. You can't imagine what it's like to travel to India as a solo female traveller before you come, but in all honesty it's tough. I'm constantly on my toes, thinking what is this guy's alterior motivation in holding a conversation with me, do I give him the benefit of the doubt? Am I giving him the wrong idea by being polite to him and thanking him and giving a friendly smile? Is what I'm wearing ok and modest enough?  I can't walk down streets without hearing compliments on my hair, tattoos or piercing at least once. And that gets tiring in the long run. And it all built up until I had an anxiety attack in Udaipur.

Hijras are a group of Indian people born male but who have feminine gender indentity, and generally most are transgendered, but some are gay, some are hermaphrodites and some are eunuchs.  In 1994 they were legally granted voting rights as a third sex. Hijras are very low in the Indian Caste system, and they have very low employment opprtunities, so most of their income comes from performing in ceremonies or working as prostitutes. I've seen a few walking around blessing people on the trains in Mumbai.

Now I know the situation in India is not unique, but it hit me hard just because I was in the country when it happened. And as I think what this feels for me, I can't even begin to fathom what this feels for the Indian sexual minorities. Having finally gained a level of freedom 3 years, it's now been taken from them. They have to hide the fact that they're in love, and acting upon their feelings could result in imprisonment. I cannot comprehend this. How the fuck can it be so wrong to be in love? Russia, are you listening? It's the year 2013. Get over it.

I just realized I'm actually going.

8 days to go. That's nothing.

It's finally hit me that I'm going. I'm going next weekend. 8 days. That's it. Then I'm off. This trip that I've been planning for so many years is finally happening. Kinda having my mind blown at the moment.

I've gotten most of my gear sorted; I've got a mosquito net, water purifying tablets, guide books, dry shampoo, new pants from Primark, space towels and toilet paper. I'm still struggling with what clothes to take with me, but I think I know which ones I want to take and eventually ruin with glorious sweat stains. So leaving the nicest ones home. 

I've been emptying out my flat and my god, how much stuff can one person accumulate over the years?? I boxed up more than ten boxes (and I was being ruthless with what I was keeping, how can I still have that much stuff??) that will be staying put in my friend Jenni's basement whilst I'm away, but all the rest is being given away. And that's a crapload of stuff. I just don't know where it all came from. 

The saviour among all of this is my Mum. I had a lot of trouble deciding what to do with my t-shirts with prints on them. I've got a lot, some which I haven't worn in ages but really like the print on it and don't want to give it away (for example, I've got my t-shirts from when I was volunteering in Peru and one has a pic of Macchu Picchu on it), but saving them and keeping them in boxes didn't seem quite right either. My Mother being this amazing human being told me to save them all and then give them to her, and she'll make a patchwork quilt from them all!!!! So I've got David Bowie, Superman, David Hassellhoff, McLovin' and other making appearances on the greatest quilt you will ever lay your eyes on. The greatest idea ever and I can't wait to come home it, kiitos Mamma <33

I've been at work all week, and will basically be working until the day I leave. I don't mind, because I'll have around 9 months of no work! BAHAHAHA. Also, I am being incredibly social next week, well done me. And I get to go to the hairdressers tomorrow, which I cannot wait for as I haven't been since December.... Whoops.

Anyhoo, toodles all. I'm going to go out and then enjoy the footie later tonight (Spain and Finland are playing at the Olympic Stadium here in Helsinki, vamos España! Though I'm not actually going, I have to settle for a bar)

21 days to go

Only three weeks until I'll be waving goodbye to the lush lands of Europe and making my way to China and Tibet. I've finally managed to get most of my visas sorted, the only ones lacking are ones I have to apply for when I'm travelling or I get on arrival. I got my in transit visa for Sri Lanka (yep, you need one just to travel through Sri Lanka), and my Australian working holiday visa got approved last night so next summer will officially be spent Down Under cookin' some goodness for the folks!!!!!!!

The first in Nepal is being spent in The Last Resort, which in itself is seriously cool, though getting there really isn't. You have to cross the deepest gorge in Nepal on frikkin' rickety bridge and it's very possible that I'm going to die on that. Or poo in my pants, not quite sure yet.

This week I've been packing up my belongings in boxes, and can I just say that the amount of CD's and DVD's I own is ridiculous. And did I get rid of any? HELL NO. I did get rid of some books though which I feel I have earned a pat on the back for. I've also packed up some of my dishes, and have been really ruthless as to what I'm keeping and what I'm not. So I've only got one box of dishes and shizzle... Bloody miracle if you ask me. I am a bit sad to be leaving this flat behind me. I've been here for almost 3 years, and this place is so cute and nice and cozy and my first own home. Gonna get weepy.

I'm going to London on Wednesday to see my Dad, Moira and Fifi (and Saul too!), have some good times and then maybe weep a wee bit when I have to leave. We're doing dim sum in Chinatown and the Book of Mormon (yes, I know you're jealous, I mean it's Gavin Creel as Elder Price!!!!!!) and I get to check out my sister's new digs (stop growing up Moira).

I will be taking a wee tablet with me when I go travelling with a nifty keypad, so updating my blog won't be dependt on an internet cafe, but dodgy WiFi!! Also I am leaving armed with a folder full of NeNe Leakes, Honey Boo Boo, Glee gifs and many, many more. You're welcome.

Anyhoo, one must dash as one has to get ready for this weekend and it's celebrations. So many celebrations this weekend, folks!!!

It's very possible that this is gonna be me on Monday.